We posed as Ivy Leaguers, walking down Nassau in Princeton jokingly shouting, "We don't go to Rutgers!"

At the foo-foo Italian restaurant I couldn't take my eyes off the woman sitting at the table next to ours. She was repulsive in her WASP demeanor. The painfully adorable blonde waitress replied to every thank you with, "You're so very welcome."

Bits of conversation:

"Did you really think I was a lesbian when you first met me?"

"What would you think if I started plucking my eyebrows and going to the tanning salon?"

"My defining Princeton moment was waiting for Scott to shit in the church."

"Do you think Nico is still alive?"