Read the following essay introduction:

Can we survive without technology? That is a question that everyone thinks about at one point in time. Most people in this world would say no. Some of us would say yes and the rest of us would not know.

You probably think it was written by a precious little 6th grader, but in fact, the author is a fully grown college student. Her name is Gloria and she is, indeed, a glorious sight to behold. This tragic yet beautiful creature meandered into my life last summer. I was visiting LA on my way across the country with Candice and we stopped in Downey, CA to hangout in Gloria's phat pad. Candice and Gloria roomed together at the illustrious Cal State Hayward for a year. It was at this world-renowned institution that Gloria composed her famous essays, which landed her Fs every time. The best part is that instead of taking the classes over and writing new essays, Gloria would hand the same ones in. She was very organized, you see, and always saved her garbage. Needless to say, she ended up leaving the open-admissions school 9In Candice's defense, she was there for a year on an exchange - it was the only Bay Area school in the program. If you squint your eyes and stuff cotton into your eyes, it's just like going to Berkeley).

Oh, Gloria. Bitch may be dumb, but she is funny as hell. "Oh HELLZ no, Candice!"