Standing in line at the Espresso Roma in Northbrae, just after a woman came dangerously close to cutting in front of me and a few others to join her friends, who were paying (she backed off when we made eye contact -- I was obscenely wide-eyed), I overheard another woman telling someone the cheesepuff she had just purchased was for her dog. "Oh, yeah, he eats everything humans eat," she said matter-of-factly. "All organic and free-range. I guess this is a little treat. It's not very healthy."

Then I squinted, raised my right arm, and discreetly squished her head.