1. I have an upsetting blister on my left foot that won't go away.

2. There's now a hole in my left shoe and I can't bear the thought of having to learn all the freaking shoe-buying vocabulary and dealing with attendants at shoe stores, which I refuse to deal with in the U.S.

3. I've met as many gay San Franciscans in the two weeks I've been here at the house than I do in the same time period in S.F.

4. Right. So, the goal is to "pass" as a native, or at least as a native Spanish speaker. But sometimes it's better to be obviously gringo from the initial "hola," so you don't feel like such a fool when you're stumped, your cover is blown and you wind up saying "no entiendo" when it turns out the person was simply saying NOVENTA Y SIETE CON CINCUENTA, as in the total price of your purchase. As in a number.

5. I could totally spend a few years living here in Condesa. Relaxing but stimulating. Qué padre.